Asking God the Hard Questions: Is Marriage Really for Me?

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Is Marriage for Me?

I never imagined I’d reach a point in my singleness where I’d ask myself, “Is marriage really for me?” I’ve been single for years, attending countless singles’ events, conferences, and seminars meant to explore the possibility of marriage and the fullness of the single life. But there’s one memory from a single women’s event that’s stayed with me. A middle-aged woman stood up and said, “If marriage isn’t for me, I’ll be satisfied with God alone.”

For years, that statement unsettled me for two reasons: First, it brought to mind the fear that marriage might never happen for me. Second, I laughed at the middle-aged woman’s response, thinking, “That could never be me.” But recently, that question resurfaced in my mind, nudging me to converse honestly with God about whether He planned marriage for me.

Facing the Fear

To some, asking God if marriage is “for them” might seem strange. But as someone who seeks the Lord in everything I do, asking God if marriage was part of my life felt less foreign and more fearful. What would He say back? What if He said “no”? How would I respond? What would life be like if marriage never came? I wrestled with this question until I eventually reached a point where I had to ask. I had “put myself out there” and tried everything possible to make it happen. It finally dawned on me: if God didn’t allow it, it wouldn’t happen.

A Heartfelt Conversation with God

So, with tears streaming down my face and fear still clinging to my heart, I had an honest conversation with God. I asked Him to show me if marriage was His plan for me—and if it wasn’t, to take away my desire for it. While I can’t say that God answered me directly at that moment, I can say that He never removed my desire for marriage. Instead, He reminded me of the dreams, visions, and promises He’d given me about marriage—promises I’d let die under the weight of disappointment.

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Finding Satisfaction in God Alone

And something beautiful happened from that conversation onward: I grew in such a deep intimacy with God that I became the woman I once laughed at. Be careful what you say! Today, I can stand like she did, fully satisfied in God, knowing that if I never marry, I’ll still serve and love Him and be okay. I’ve found a wholeness in God that has nothing to do with my relationship status. That doesn’t erase my desire for marriage, but I have a solid resolve: my identity isn’t defined by whom I marry or my relationship status; it’s grounded in God alone.

For the Woman Waiting on Marriage

So to the woman reading this who is waiting, recovering from a breakup, or longing for marriage—build an intimacy with God so rich and fulfilling that you’re delighted with Him alone. I used to say I’d never be the woman who preaches contentment because I don’t think contentment is forced. I believe it’s found. You’ll discover contentment if you seek God, serve Him and His people, and let Him love, heal, and restore you. And perhaps you’ll also ask God, “Is marriage for me?” Whatever His answer, know this: it doesn’t alter your purpose or God’s plan for you and has no bearing on your identity. 

Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.

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Asking God the Hard Questions: Is Marriage Really for Me?  was originally published on elev8.com