Barack Obama Admits To A ‘Deep Deficit’ With Michelle

Since leaving the White House, former president Barack Obama has been very busy. 

Between working on the Obama Foundation, finishing up his presidential memoirs, and photobombing a family in the nation’s capital, the 44th president has a lot on his to-do list. But he’s keeping his relationship with wife at the top of his priorities.

During a one-on-one chat with Hamilton College President Steven Tepper, the former president shared how life in the White House negatively impacted his wife and children, leaving him in a “deep deficit” with former first lady Michelle Obama that he’s been trying to get out of ever since. 

Both Obamas have spoken candidly in the past about how life in the White House has changed, strained, and also strengthened their relationship. There’s plenty of relationship wisdom to glean from the former president about how to keep things fresh and fun with your partner. We can all take a page out of Obama’s book and learn how to show love to the ones we love.

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1. Keep It Fun

Life in the First Family was not easy. “I did not fully appreciate… the degree of stress and tension for her, knowing that not just me and Michelle were under scrutiny and in this strange environment, but that we were raising our daughters in a kind of situation that just wasn’t normal,” Obama said in an interview with CBS This Morning last year. Those eight years in D.C. took a toll on his family, especially his marriage and he’s been consistently trying to get back in her good graces..

“I was in a deep deficit with my wife, so I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things,” Obama told Tepper. And he’s been keeping his promise! In the post-presidential years, Obamas have been spotted on vacation, at sports games, travelling, and out to eat on date nights that Michelle happily displays on Instagram.

2. Communication Is Key

Despite once being a leader of the free world and constantly giving speeches, Obama admitted during his talk at Hamilton College that he struggled with communication.

Thankfully, the former president was willing to put in the work to improve, putting new meaning to the phrase practice makes perfect.

“I think that the first thing to know about speaking, writing, or communicating generally is if you practice like everything else, you can get better,” he said to the audience at Hamilton College. 

3. Be Willing to Be Wrong

There’s no doubt that Barack Obama is an intelligent man, but that doesn’t mean he always has to be right and in his household, he rarely is (but he’s okay with it). 

“I constantly lose arguments to my wife, my daughters,” he said to the laughing audience. “They mock me and ridicule me at the dinner table.”

The lesson: You don’t have to win every argument. Find peace and humor in very human mistakes. Nobody’s perfect, not even the president. 

4. Make the Necessary Sacrifices

In addition to speaking candidly about life post-presidency during his talk at Hamilton, Obama did not hesitate to share more important wisdom about not taking our communities for granted and putting love into action, even when it’s hard.

“It’s not enough to say you’re for something, you might actually have to do something and sacrifice a little bit,” Obama told Hamilton College. “We say that we’re for equality, are we willing to fight for it? Are we willing to risk something for it? Are we gonna stick to that when it’s tough, not when it’s easy?”

Not quite a lesson in romance but definitely important wisdom on how we should love each other.

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Barack Obama Admits To A ‘Deep Deficit’ With Michelle—4 Ways To Avoid One In Your Own Relationship  was originally published on elev8.com